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On this show I call people to ask their phone number. That's the entire premise. It's fabulous. It's baffling. And it's very, very annoying.
This may be my favorite show in a long while.
NOTE: There are some business phone numbers included in this audio, and while I generally try to avoid that or censor them out, it was kind of unavoidable given the premise.

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On this show I called a bunch of numbers and said silly things, which was a welcome change from the usual format of evangelical rock and reading bible passages by a crackling fire.

  • Gaslamping hotel clerks that their gas pump isn't working.
  • Calling a lady selling chickens to buy her roosters for cock fights. (thanks @matthew4)
  • Accusing people on a church list of not voting for me for church comptroller (thanks @climbatiz and @mbots)
  • Trying to bribe wrestling officials into admitting they accept bribes (thanks @climbatiz)
  • Chasing my chickens around an RV park. 00:58:00
  • Accidentally left a Biggie Smalls mural on the wall of the hotel.
  • Chaining myself to the roof for solidarity with the victims.
  • Asking a dryer vent guy to clean the pieces of my pet squirrel out of my dryer vent. (thanks @parkman!)
  • Private eye mistakes an answering service for an escort service.
  • Asking my neighbors to please keep it down 01:47:03
  • and more!

Thanks to:

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4/5 dentists recommend this episode. In this episode I:

  • call businesses asking for permission to get my duffel bags back out of their crawlspace, discreetly.
    • Tell people I found duffel bags full of cash and ask if anyone lost it, or i can keep it.
    • Try to get permission to do some light money laundering in their washers.
    • Call a business and ask for help coming up with a prank call premise, and then using it on them.
    • Ask hotels to help me lie to customers of my ghost tour about hauntings at their hotel.
    • Telling businesses I listed them as a dependent on my tax return.
    • Telling hotels that I uploaded photographs of guests in their rooms to stock photography sites. (Hattip to @phonelosers and @bassbot for the idea).
    • Asking for help locating my prosthetic leg? It must have detached while I was walking out of the hotel and I didn't notice until I was 30 minutes away.

Thanks to @cyflailing84 for joining as a Patreon!

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In this post Father's Day episode, we call companies as corporate priest Father Frank Katz and his altarboy intern Rodney (@doglettuce) to organize confessions with their guests and staff.

  • Surprisingly, many people accept this as completely normal. A few even connect us to room numbers with the beautiful dodge of "we can't tell you the name of the person we're calling from since it's privileged information."
  • We also ordain someone as a temporary minister in order to be able to share confidential parishioner name information with them. 01:04:56
  • The same guy even gives confession to us. This was really goofy. 01:15:24
  • Lastly, we call to complain that we were nosing around in a neighbor's room and found some inappropriate personal items in their suitcase.

Thanks to @doglettuce for joining in the fun!

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This show may have set my record for ringtones. But my customer surveys have indicated that y'all like ring tones, so that's weird, but i guess you do you.

  • Calling up realtors to tell them I'm squatting in their listing 06:00

  • Calling up realtors to tell them we're shooting an adult film in their listing.

  • Calling up strangers and accusing them of sleeping with my wife. 00:29:27

  • Accusing neighbors of letting my cat hang out inside their home.

  • Complaining that my cat is slipping into a neighbor's yard to get high on cat nips. 00:54:30

  • Old concept: calling random residentials to let people know that I changed my number.

  • Old concept: Accusing hotels of letting my kid watch porn on my laptop using THEIR wifi 01:48:19 and 02:05:53

  • Calling hotels to give them completely unnecessary advice on how to sell the room to me. 02:12:35

Thanks to:

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This week's main premise, courtesy of @jesuspenus, was simple: Tell people that you've got a short-term memory condition that forces your brain to reset every few minutes, then drive them absolutely crazy repeating the conversation over and over.

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We call hotels and ensure that they have the candy ready for the Mayor.

Featuring

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On today's show, I mostly called zillow real estate listings to ask them if they got the packages I had delivered to their home, and to please not open them. Some people REALLY did not like that, like this guy who got REALLY upset and accused me of trespassing, when all i was doing was just passing. 01:34:45

I also played a clip from earlier in the day where someone called me looking to buy bunnie meat, and I tried to upsell them on human meat instead.

@criefaux, @matthew4 and @gretagarbage also joined later for some collaborative calls later with line echoes and a new one where we coach each other through normal interactions, and it was hilarious.

Reminder to send me any clips you want featured in our upcoming Prankaversary Show, celebrating 2 years of silly fun here.

Thanks to:

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On this #Crimbus spectacular I was joined by @Criefaux, @Molinwolf, @Doglettuce and @DespicableDogs for some silly nonsense and a really fun time:

  • We called Betty to wish her a happy holidays.
  • We tried convincing people that we got - and we're keeping - their Christmas present package.
  • Tried to get more info on the Christmas smoking exception.
  • Uncle Mustache gifted us one of the cars in their hotel parking lot.
  • Searching for Uncle Mustache in the different hotel rooms.
  • Trying to manually delete the hotel camera footage.

Thanks to:

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This was supposed to be a quickie but turned into a longie, or maybe more of a girthie.

  • Calling massage parlors to book stomach rubs for my golden retriever.

  • Calling chiropractors to fix me up after my head got stuck near my navel while I was trying something.

  • Calling doggie day care as the mobile doggie gynecologist, trying to show up to do doggie on-site pup-smears.

  • Calling a bunch of businesses on behalf of the Take-a-Wish Foundation, bringing a dying child named Timothy into their business to fulfill his last wish of rolling around with their dogs; grilling on their industrial grill at Hooters; performing tattoos on customers; and slaughtering animals with his grandfather's ninja sword; and more!

Merry Hannukah!

Thanks to @animegurl304 and @criefaux for the numbers!

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Oh boy, there were some epic calls on tonight's minisode, including one angry sovereign citizen who is going to put me in jail for "insulting his intelligence" (I didn't), and the Karen from this viral incident (copy and paste the full URL - the auto linker doesn't handle tiktok well currently): https://www.tiktok.com/@senor_barragan/video/7225300395755801902

Her call is at 00:54:00

I also got to bake my new hotel neighbor a quiche and got the front desk to help me force my neighbor to eat it.

Thanks to @criefaux and @despicabledogs for lending their voices to some hilarious calls. And thanks to @animegurl304, @famardy and @mbots for submitting numbers tonight.

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