Note: This episode is split into 2 parts because my internet died in the middle of the show. Thi

On this episode I:

• Call the front desk to introduce myself as the Guest Union Representative, elected by the other guests to act as an ambassador on their behalf.

• Ask hotels if I can store a liver I'm delivering to a hospital transplant in their ice machine while I go and buy more ice. Thanks @iregretjumping for the idea and for joining for some calls while we ran this premise across a few hotels! Thanks as well to @icecat, @devonanustart and @airheadlive for joining for calls / hanging out as well.

• We ended the show testing out a concept by @jesuspenus where I add a background laugh track to everything the other party says. That was fun - I'll almost certainly be doing that on another show soon!

Thanks to:

• @wormbeard for joining as a Patreon
• All our existing Patreons
• Everyone who submitted hilarious ideas and phone numbers in chat. I didn't get to all numbers, so I'll credit you individually next week!
• All the guests who elected me as their 4th Floor Guest Union Representative.

Note: This episode is split into 2 parts because my internet died in the middle of the show.

On this episode I:

• Call the front desk to introduce myself as the Guest Union Representative, elected by the other guests to act as an ambassador on their behalf.

• Ask hotels if I can store a liver I'm delivering to a hospital transplant in their ice machine while I go and buy more ice. Thanks @iregretjumping for the idea and for joining for some calls while we ran this premise across a few hotels! Thanks as well to @icecat, @devonanustart and @airheadlive for joining for calls / hanging out as well.

• We ended the show testing out a concept by @jesuspenus where I add a background laugh track to everything the other party says. That was fun - I'll almost certainly be doing that on another show soon!

Thanks to:

• @wormbeard for joining as a Patreon
• All our existing Patreons
• Everyone who submitted hilarious ideas and phone numbers in chat. I didn't get to all numbers, so I'll credit you individually next week!
• All the guests who elected me as their 4th Floor Guest Union Representative.

On this episode:

• I call hotels and complain that having Employees Only signs on rooms is guestist and discriminatory.
• I also found some car keys (and other items) in hotel Lost and Founds, that I was allowed to enter since I'm technically an employee at another business. I proceeded to crash the cars, of course.
• And a bunch of other fun related premises involving the words Employees Only.

Thanks to:

• @ronmexico and @quaffee for joining as Patreons
• All existing Patreons for supporting the show!
• Everyone in chat who submitted hilarious ideas. I'll try to update this with shoutouts later, but until then you can see them in the Kudos list below.

Tonight’s show is moved to Tuesday again. My plumber is going to be unclogging my pipes at the usual time slot, if you know what I mean. Nothing sexual.

On this American tax-day episode I try the following premises:

• calling random people to let them know I listed them on my tax return as dependents
• calling places as a barbershop quartet singing telegram and playing an AI generated du-wop song customized to them.

I also debut some new music that I wrote the lyrics for and then produced with AI.

Fair warning: I am testing a mobile setup for this episode in a public space, so there are some technical hiccups and I’ll probably sound a bit different on this lavelier mic.

Thanks to:

• @iregretjumping for the show title and the amazing finale at the end of the episode. Watch it here: https://youtube.com/shorts/SmeufFcdGYc?si=GfrIqm9EJHUz9i_u
• @devonanustart, @criefaux, @omnom, @ayutux, @bray90820, @icecat and everyone else who provided numbers that were used in this episode
• all our Patreons

It's my turn to help steal food from the local soup kitchen that night, and our cult leader is not letting me shirk my soup responsibilities this close to the galactic arrival of the Fallen Beast.

I'll try to make it up on Tuesday evening 4/15, angry hobos permitting.

On this episode, I try to hire employees of my competitors as secret double agents and fail miserably. So then I switch gears and try to find out how to upgrade my Motel 6 room to a Motel 7 and that's WAY more fun. I then tried the same nonsense with Super 8 -> Super 9 (thx @Joefather) and Doubletree -> Tripletree (thanks @namesakejake) thanks to some hilarious suggestions from chat (see the full kudos list below).

Lastly, I called to find out if my medical marijuana exception allowed my friends to join me in smoking in the room.

There are a few really hilarious clippable reactions on this show. One front desk clerk tried to be helpful while absolutely bullshitting about how to upgrade my room to Super 9. I was also cursed out twice and got my favorite "I've never been asked that before" once.

Thanks to

• all the Patreons. Thanks to devan0213 for joining as the newest patreon
• @iregretjumping for the show title
• @icecat, @mbots, @iregretjumping and @ibuprofen for sending in phone numbers
• everyone in chat with the hilarious suggestions

I’m planning on having a funeral for my grandmother on Monday night but haven’t had the heart to break the news to her yet. Wish me luck!

I’ll do a makeup show later in the week at an inconvenient time and place.

On this offensive, and mostly tax-themed episode I try the following premises:

• Calling people and immediately yelling PRANKED, because damn did i prank those idiots good. People fell right for my prank trap. Losers.
• Calling up taxi-services and taxidermists to get help with my taxes.
• Calling up taxidermists, to get my body stuffed and mounted with animatronics when I die. Thanks @despicabledogs!
• Calling up places with my blind translation service aids @doglettuce and @greenimp.
• Calling up places and swapping places with my brother Johnthanon (@doglettuce) every time they asked a question, to drive them crazy.
• Also Fraink Katz, Sr. joined for part of the show as we called more tax services, so he could find some hot young tax honeys to ask to go out for an ice cream soda pop. At one point a hot tax honey asked his name, and he replied "It's Frank Katz, but you can call me Daddy" and I think I spit soda all over my screen. Damn it Frank.
  and more!

Thanks to:

• @doglettuce and @greenimp for hanging out and joining in some calls!
• @420cat for the show title
• all Patreons, old, new and future

Yarrr maties, on this Saint Patrick's themed episode:

• I call liquor stores from the Take-a-Wish foundation and let them know about the DUI experience we are staging for the Take-a-Wish kids in our parking lot.
• We end the show by hosting Lepre-Con 2025, a Leprechaun themed rave for dying children, in a hotel lobby.
• We also played a bunch of Milkbox originail songs. That's honestly probably 50% of this show. But it was a lot of fun, I promise.

Thanks to:

• @kali for the show title
• @skibomonster, @charliedollar, @poopmypee, and @jpprice14 for joining as Patreons.
• https://suno.com for providing an amazing platform for making music
• all my amazing Patreons

On this episode I:

• call hotels and demand they give me a refund for the hour they stole for me during the daylight savings time switchover.
• call hotels and tattoo parlors, pretending to be a neighboring competitor, and play very offensive (AI-generated) diss track about their business, that I say is slated to play on the radio (hattip @namesakejake and @phonelosers)

Thanks to:

• j and @skibomonster for joining as Patreons
• everyone who contributed song and call suggestions
• all Patreons

On this episode I generate some hilarious AI songs, and try the following call premises:

• Trying to get permission to bring my therapy skunk into the hotel (Kudos @pewpewrun)
• Gaslamping the front desk that it was not against the rules for my service animal to smoke in the room, so why was I fined?
• Making people listen to me freestyle rap
• Generating AI jingles about polarizing topics (like Trump's war on DEI), and making it include mention of the call recipient in the lyrics. Then convincing them it was running as a national advertisement.

Thanks to:

• everyone who submitted hilarious ideas in chat
• @iregretjumping for stealing the kudos award spotlight from needy people. Again.
• @Omnom for becoming a Patreon
• all the other Patreons who help support the site