I'm still waiting for a working mic to arrive. My new one is arriving Thursday, so ill probably do a show during the day then… Sorry to anyone who was looking forward to me humiliating myself live tonight. I promise that I'll doubly embarrass myself on my next show to make it up to everyone.

No show Monday september 15th. Postponed until later in the week.

On this episode I try the following premises:

• Calling a bunch of car ding numbers provided by @phonelosers for the annual Dingtember celebration. This was so much fun!
• Calling hotels to leave long shakespearian notes on cars, apologizing for dinging their car.
• Calling hotels to apologize in advance for dinging someone's car next week.
• Calling hotels to get them to write a note taking responsibility for dinging someone's car in the parking lot.

Outro song: https://suno.com/s/dL5QJap4XaI1swL1

Thanks to

• @phonelosers and @omnom for the numbers!
• @kuraz for joining as a Patreon!
• all Patreons

Part of a toast I gave at my daughter's wedding.

I'm workshopping this for an open mic night.

On this wedding-themed episode I try the following premises:

• Calling wedding halls and event planners, trying to get them to agree to let our https://takeawish.org child, fulfill his dying wish of objecting during a wedding; and pretending the wedding is for him; and other similar ridiculousness.
• Plus! @fieldwaveaudio joins and absolutely slays the piano in between calls (and during some pranks, like when we try to get a condemned child on deathrow permission to play piano in the lobby of a hotel!).

I can't get over how great he is! Thanks to @AndyAnderson for that awesome recommendation!

No outro song needed this week, because @fieldwaveaudio played us off! But here's a joke I made up for the wedding toast that you might enjoy: https://prankcast.com/milkbox/posts/12248--mbs-punchlimes-wedding-toast

Thanks to:

• myself for the show title
• my wife for being an awesome sport
• everyone in chat who contributed hilarious suggestions
• all our awesome Patreons

On this episode I try the following premises:

• Calling front desks to tattle on the guest in a wheelchair for faking it.
• Complaining that handicapped people are parking in regular people's (standicapped) spots and taking our spaces.
• Subtly dropping hints that I'm a time traveller from the future trying to stop my younger self from making a catastrophic mistake by checking in to their hotel in a few weeks.
• Asking the front desk to reserve a handicapped spot for me with their bosses chair.
• Calling prayer lines to complain that saying "A men" is not gender inclusive enough.
• and more!

Outro Song:

• Handipass: https://suno.com/s/bDkF4AmLGjzvKPSn

Thanks to

• @iregretjumping for the show title.
• @drakedragsaw and @whiskeyneon for joining as patreons!
• all my other Patreons. you rule!

On this episode I try the following premises:

• Trying to do mouth to mouse CPR to revive a rat.
• Doing the same thing on a fish.
• Other silly fun premises.

Thanks to

• @whiskeyneon for joining as a Patreon
• @iregretjumping for the show title
• all Patreons

On this not-so-family-friendly episode I try the following premises:

• Calling hotels and asking them how to book a room that hasn't been previously defiled by sinners (thanks @icecat!). Or even just a bed. Unexpectedly, this premise worked really well as people either tried to accommodate me, or talk me into booking defiled hotel rooms.
• Trying to file my data report in the hotel love log (aka the Sindex, Rolosex, Dicktionary, Shag Sheet, Spread Sheet, Pussport, Databoink, Boink Book, and the other hilarious puns the chatroom came up with for ).

As a warning to those who listen to this show with their family and churchgoers during their Sunday morning services, this is probably an episode to skip.

Thanks to

• @iregretjumping for the initial impetus for the show idea
• @andyanderson for the show title
• All the hilarious people in chat who made me laugh and break character a bunch.
• all Patreons

Apologies for the late notice. [Insert witty excuse here]

In this post-retirement show, I come back briefly for a guest appearance on my former show to:

• get people to apologize to me for their behavior in my dream last night.
• try to book local hotel rooms in alternative time zones.
• get front desks to agree to speak to me in pig latin.
• try to make front desks think I'm an AI (thanks Omnom!)
• apologize to the front desk for accidentally packing up the towels, sheets, pillows and tv on the way out.
  Thanks to @despicabledogs, @criefaux, and @devonanustart for stopping by to make some pig latin calls with me!

On this episode I try the following premises:

• Calling hotels to get tickets to Superman
• Telling people that they are gaslamping me that the term is actually gaslighting.
• Calling real estate listings to ask if the package i had delivered to their house so the FBI wouldn't know it was intended for me, had arrived.
• and more!

Outro song:
Gaslamping by Milkbox
https://suno.com/s/SgVWKCnhRSrCgVp5

Thanks to

• @phonelosers and @devonanustart and especially devon's mom for the Prankcast show drops
• @kali for the show title
• all Patreons

On this episode, I briefly come out of retirement (only to go back into it until next week's episode) to try the following premises:

• Telling businesses I have a new number and trying to give it to them by reading it out as if it's a 9 digit figure in the billions, and sometimes spelling it in English if that's too hard to understand.
• Telling hotels I run the most popular Binfluencer channel on Youtube and we're coming to review the trash in their bins. This was all just an elaborate setup so I had an excuse to tell people to "Stop being so uppity about your trash" when they refused my garbage reviews.
• Trying to fill my fish truck with ice from their lobby ice machine. Thanks @despicabledogs
• Telling hotels I found a bag of cash in their trash and the dye pack inside it just went off. Thanks @drtomservo!
• Telling hotels "there is a man on their lawn walking a dog without any pants" and they draw their own conclusions about which non-pant wearing entity in that sentence i'm referring to.
• Also a bunch of people almost ruined some of the calls by triggering the Shrimp rule when they posted shrimp in the chat again, but I was able to work around it this time.

Thanks to

• everyone in chat!
• @mbots and @andyanderson for the show title
• all Patreons, especially new ones like @yourmum and pixelflp
• my neighbor phillip for being a good sport about me running over his wife's foot and then driving away laughing and flipping the bird at her