milkbox

In which I call a random room pretending to be the front desk and scold him for taking too many breakfast sandwiches. If you like the Milk box show themesong by @amphy, here's the original.

Wow, I can't believe it's 100 episodes already. That's bananas. If you like overly excessive loud sound effects and don't enjoy having functioning eardrums you'll probably enjoy the show.

On this fun episode, we:

• BBQ up some steaks in the room and try to disable the smoke alarm.
• Call hotels to claim my free breakfast I forgot to get from a month ago.
• Fill a room up with water to make a fun indoor pool
• Monkey around in the pool mechanical room and cause a flood. (01:24:41)
• Gaslamp a hotel into thinking their gas pump isn't working.
• Call realtors to announce that we're squatting on their property and to please remove the for sale listing.
• Lighting firecrackers in the room.
• Lighting firecrackers on the hotel roof.
• and more!

We didn't do the one damn Memorial Day premise I wanted to do (calling HOA residents to invite myself over for BBQ leftovers). I guess we'll save that for Independence Day.

Featuring

• @devonanustart
• @phonelosers
• @doglettuce
• @gretagarbage
• @Criefaux
• @Despicabledogs

Thanks to our newest Patreons

• @vince
• @saintpepe
• and all our existing Patreons!

I have some family BBQ obligations so will be starting late tonight. No ETA! Happy Memorial Day!

In which I convince a woman to hop on a moving bus to notarize my wife's divorce papers.

I call up a hotel and ask to make flyers advertising the pool party in my room. Surprisingly they are OK with the flyers.

In this fun episode:

• I call movie theaters to ask them to pause the movie because I need to pee. Or at least to bring me some kind of bottle to pee into.

• I call car washes to complain that their car shampoo was too strong and it's making my hair fall out (or my dog's fur).

• I tried to get the staff on my side of an altercation.

• We call @synthead's ground beef guy but he turns out to be really nice.

• And more!

This is part 2 of a fun impromptu broadcast.

Part 1

• Hotel con job
• Taking the door off the bathroom
• Taking everything apart in the room
• Buying meat puppies
• Drilling ventilation holes in the ceiling to let the smoke out

Part 2

• Hunting coyotes on hotel premises
• Flipping more switches
• Complaining that it's too loud on their roof.
• The return of Dr. Pepsi giving free medical exams in his white van.
• Dog kidney exchange (47:30)
• Auctioning the room furniture
• and more!!

This is part 1 of a fun impromptu broadcast. The audio isn't the best as some settings got reset after a computer reinstallation. Part 2 has much better audio!

Part 1

• Hotel con job
• Taking the door off the bathroom
• Taking everything apart in the room
• Buying meat puppies
• Drilling ventilation holes in the ceiling to let the smoke out

Part 2

• Hunting coyotes on hotel premises
• Flipping more switches
• Complaining that it's too loud on their roof.
• The return of Dr. Pepsi giving free medical exams in his white van.
• Dog kidney exchange (47:30)
• Auctioning the room furniture
• and more!!

We try to do some good deeds and pay it forward:

• Checking if the copper cable coils in the drywall are complimentary or there's a room fee if you take it home.

• Anonymously paying for my room neighbor's adult entertainment

• 00:26:26 - Drilling ventilation holes in the roof in the middle of a rainstorm. The manager reaction is fantastic.

• 00:48:30 - Taking the door off the bathroom. Another fantastic reaction.

• 00:59:15 - Taking the door off the bathroom again. Another great call.

• Complaining about the hotel, but asking the hotel to give you some complaint ideas.

• Asking for suspicious information (eg. mother's maiden names)

• Subletting my closet.

• 01:36:15 - Sending my 11yo daughter to the hotel to sell craft beers. The manager did not like this at all

• Complaining to the hotel that our room audio isn't working properly. @bread336 joined for this.

• Seeing if I can get the front desk clerk to tell me the last time they had diarrhea. It takes about 30 seconds.

• There's a guest on OnlyFeet

• Complaining to a hotel that the creepy men on the wall are staring at me:
  

• Asking hotels what time is Men's hours

• Complaining about a guest streaming to OnlyFeet.

• 02:23:57 - Connecting to a room and yelling at the guy in 207 for how loud his baby is crying.

• 02:29:30 - Complaining to the female front desk that she mansplained at you

and more!

Thanks to @ReaperDiamondT for some great numbers!

I probably won’t begin my show tonight until 7:30pm.

Really fun show! Stop reading this and go listen. We had a bunch of people trying out the new chat and it went swimmingly.

Premises Used

• Moving someone's car from the bar parking lot to the local McDonalds so they can't drive home drunk.
• Falling asleep in the hotel laundry basket, and now I woke up in the back of some kind of laundry van.
• Telling a business your grandfather is there, but he's senile and forgets his name - can they put the old man in front of them on the phone? Tell them not to alarm him by giving away that he's having a senior moment or asking him for his name - just get him right on the phone so he hears and recognizes your voice.
• Accidentally towing the wrong customer's car 2 hours away.
• Asking for help in the electric room, figuring out which switches you've flipped go to which room's power.
• Drilling pilot holes in the hotel roof to let more ventilation in, and cigarette smoke out.
• Doing volunteer security in the hotel parking lot, and verifying that the guest you pinned down is actually a customer before you let him.
• Asking the front desk why they were gas lamping you before? And now they are gas lamping you now in denying it. Getting them to say the word gas lamp is half the fun.
• And more!

Thanks to @phonelosers, @criefaux, and @doglettuce for joining in on the calls!

Thank you to @dnelladoodle from the @graveyardgoonz and @doglettuce for the support. Much appreciated!

This was a makeup show since the previous night's show was shorter than usual. Featuring such calls as:

• How do I bribe employees?

• Asking employees if it's OK if I bring back 7 of their carts back in a few days? The hobos I rented them too needs them a little longer.

• Busting open some car windows to rescue dogs on extremely comfortable days moments after their owner walked away.

• Trying to sell my meat dogs to butchers.

• Trying to bribe employees for a job well done.

• Calling employees in historic Deadwood to tell them we found a treasure map in our grandfather's belongings and think there's treasure in their hotel walls.

• Calling bars to tell them I found car keys in the parking lot and am moving the car to McDonalds so they can't drive home drunk.

• Breaking the fourth wall at the hotel.

And more!