I'm ironing my taxes. I'll do a makeup later this week.

On this episode I try the following premises:

• asking hotels “how it all works?”
• asking if the hotels are witness protection program friendly
• taking off the wall outlet to connect my 4d printer (thanks @yourmum)

Thanks to

• myself for the show title
• @catalyst for joining as a patreon
• all Patreons

On this Cyborg Monday episode I try the following premises:

• Trying to find out why the cyber monday promo code for "MEAT MEMBER" I received from g7.68xhy@gmail.com isn't working on the hotel booking website to get my container of travel gravy.
• Complaining to Love's truck stops that I contracted ambiguously named infections like Snyffylis, Burpees and HDTV in their showers, and could use some financial aids.
• asking how to switch the Love’s shower blow dryer into suction mode.
• Getting detailed step-by-step instructions from a kindhearted soul on how to take my first shower that voluntarily included words like "booty" and "cheese".
• And more!

Thanks to

• @yourmum for the show title
• @reaperdiamondt for sharing his travel gravy dream from his childhood.
• @phonelosers for helping me troubleshoot an audio issue.
• all Patreons

On this very, very dark episode I try the following premises:

• Ask if print shops are ok with me bringing in "pidif files" (.pdf files)
• Make a quiz show to raise money for a cause cancer cause
• And more!

Outro Song
https://suno.com/s/hkuO2mvN2DwUDMrO

Thanks to

• @omnom for the show title
• @andyanderson for the awesome quiz show drops
• @iregretjumping for the absurd outro song idea
• all Patreons

On this episode I try the following premises:

• Calling up restaurants to see if we still have to tip if we reserve a table of 10, and bring our own food.
• When that didn't work, we ask to slaughter our own food in the restaurant. We eventually call a place that apparently got in a lot of trouble with the FDA for this.
• Seeing if they will allow us to serve ethically sourced human meat, in one of the grossest calls I've done in a while.
• Try to convince a woman to sing lullabyes to a soundboard of a crying baby. We got through three songs.

Thanks to

• everyone for tuning into this short show!
• all Patreons

On this episode I try the following premises:

• asking for someone to rope off a space in the parking lot for when I park it drunk later
• ask the front desk if the n-passes the guy in the parking lot is selling are real
• trying to use my blockbuster rewards card at a hotel
• getting front desks to write down “write this down” ten times in a row
• asking hotels to speak to their soapervisor to sample their bath soaps
• trying to buy doggie condoms and other pawphylactics
• quitting places I don’t work at because I’m insulted that nobody knows my name or remembers me working there

Thanks to

• @iregretjumping for the show title
  -@bjmoulton for joining as a patreon!
• all Patreons

On this episode I try the following premises:

• I demand my hour credit from Daylight Savings Time.
• I demand some more post-halloween candy.
• Ask hotels to see my permanent record.
• Ask the hotels for extra consent forms.
• Ask for someone to help guide my car into the parking lot, because i'm blind
• Ask the hotel to sample their soap before I book a room, because ice cream shops let me do it.
• And more shenanigans

Outro Song
https://suno.com/s/k7V5hmuJMzxAOI5P

Thanks to

• @RammerJammer for joining as a Patreon, and the show title!
• all Patreons

On this Halloween-themed episode I try the following premises:

• Calling front desks and pretending like my phone is translating them into other languages
• Calling hotels and demanding that they have makeup Halloween candy ready for me and my children on November 4th, because that's my custody day.
• Calling hotels to let them know I'll be trick or treating at 3AM in their guest rooms, so please ask the guests to be ready for me.
• Calling crappy motels about having a wedding ceremony in their parking lot. PS. Congrats to @korok on their upcoming wedding!
• And more stupidity!

Outro song
https://suno.com/s/QIgO9O66zeA70twt

Thanks to

• Jujubes Candy for sponsoring tonight's episode
• @Sperm and @Iyarko for joining as Patreons!
• all my Patreons

I dont know what I ate, but my stomach isn't cooperating at the moment. I'll do my show later tonight if im feeling better.

On this episode I complain to the hotel staff that I have been lurking in the bushes all day observing their customers, and I think the kid in the wheelchair is faking it. Somehow this results in some hilarious calls where people call their manager to get to the bottom of this very suspicious situation.

I also do variations of this stupid, simple premise:

• the guy with the bald head is not actually bald
• the obese guy is wearing a fat suit
• the old man is a young guy in prosthetic makeup
• the man's moustache is really just glued on
• and more!

Outro song: https://suno.com/s/WnIMGHzfzUk0FLMk

Thanks to

• numbers and ideas submitted by @bassbot and @reaperdiamondt
• all Patreons!
• you for tuning in!

On this short pre-makeup episode (since there is no show tonight) I call front desks and try to get the clerk to participate in a group card for a stranger they supposedly work with.

Thanks to

• all Patreons

I have schedule conflicts preventing me from inserting witty excuses here. I'll do makeup shows later in the week, probably during the day on either Thursday or Friday.