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Another banger! Here's the call sheet:

  • Telling tattoo shops that they used my copyrighted tattoo on one of their customers and I'm going to need the customer to have it removed
  • Trying to get tattoo artists to agree to pretend like they are tattooing me to trick my blind friend that I promised to get matching tattoos with.
  • Asking the tattoo artist to tattoo my kid's 3rd degree burns with reminders not to play with fireworks again.
  • Asking tattoo artists to do a tattoo of me breaking the 4th wall of comedy. Like outside the borders of skin.
  • Asking tattoo artists to give me a tattoo of themselves giving me a tattoo. And on the other arm, a tattoo of me paying them for the tattoo. And on my chest, a tattoo of me calling to describe the two tattoos I want.
  • Asking tattoo artists to remove the shutterstock logo from tattoo the last guy gave me.
  • Trying to use made up coupons to get a discount on my tattoos. Thanks @despicabledogs!)

And I also did some classic concepts:

  • Giving strangers my new phone number, so they have it
  • Some car ding calls, courtesy of @phonelosers. This show it worked amazingly!

Chat VIP of the week

  • @Kali for the hilarious suggestions.

Thanks!

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On this fun show I call phone ding numbers provided by @phonelosers, and then it eventually devolves to me calling supermarkets complaining about dogs barking at me when i rub steaks on the windows and run around in my hot dog costume. Dumb silly concept, but those usually make the best calls.

Thanks to:

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Oh boy, this was a silly fun show and I had a really good time. We gaslamped front-desks into answering questions about the vegan, gluten-free and kosher room options. I also did one of @matthew4's aardvark calls.

We got at least two "nobody ever asked me that question before", two people to blow into their handset to help check the room Ph levels, and one very angry front desk clerk who cursed me out when I tried to reach the hotel Rabbi.

Lots of other stuff happened too, including looking for the diabetic parking spots and demanding tips from the rooms we busked with a banjo in front of.

Thanks to:

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On this show we call hotels from the Diaper Derby to bet on Baby Battles in their parking lot. We also call places claiming that someone just Chris Hansened us in a hotel room while we were trying to meet someone from the internet. Thanks to @despicabledogs, @icecat, and @gretagarbage for joining for the fun and for everyone in the chat who suggested ridiculously funny wordplay to use.

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I’m having a BBQ at Betty’s house. Make up later!

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In this cathartic episode, @molinwolf and I called front desks to let them down gently that unfortunately they didn't get the job and we are going with another candidate. We also tried to get people to give us obviously fake reference checks to help felons get jobs, and some were kind enough to do so…

Then @matthew4 joined in the fun as we tried to coordinate a baby battles in the parking lot.

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I tried to convince auto-body shops to sell me used spark plugs so I could fulfill all my crackhead customer's orders for my new online shop, Ninja Rocks.

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Probably going live closer to 8 or 8:30pm EST. I would blame myself for being late, but it's easier to blame the summer for being so summery.

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On this quick episode while I recover from a colonoscopy procedure I call up stores to ask questions about the guy in the white colonoscopy van parked outside and when I should expect my results.

Thanks to @Jesuspenus for the show title!

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The good work of the Take-A-Wish Foundation (https://takeawish.org) continues. On this adventure we help a 9yo criminal on deathrow fill his dying wish to rob a bank and distribute the money to poor people the day of his execution. We get permission from various businesses to distribute wads of stolen cash to their patrons, before the feds arrive.

Thanks to:

  • Allievera for joining as a Patreon!
  • @licketysplit972 for the generous gift.
  • @mbots for helping find some soundboard content for a call.
  • @doglettuce for joining for a call.
  • Everyone in chat for the hilarious and very dark ideas and lines.
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Late start, great start. See you then!

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Tonight we started with a paper clip and did 10 trade-ups finishing with a $50,000 airplane charter ride for the imaginary dying kids of the Take a Wish Foundation (https://takeawish.org). We definitely didn't cheat at all, ever.

It was fun and a nice change of pace!

Thanks to @iregretjumping for the hilarious graphic showing us meeting our goal.

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