See you later in the week alligator

On this episode, I lazily didn't come prepared with a premise, so I made that the premise and called various businesses to tell them I just want them to hurry up and pick what i should get for me. That was especially fun when I called tattoo parlors, home depots, trader joes, and hotels to get them to just pick for me.

Also there's a secret call after the credits, but I shouldn't have told you that.

Thanks to

• Myself for the show title
• all the fun chatters who yelled out hilarious ideas and dad-jokes in chat
• all Patreons

On this episode I invest in everything! and try to get a refund on the spray paint i shoplifted from home depot courtesy @itstiff.

Thanks to

• ben and sissi for joining as patreons
• @andyanderson for the show title
• all Patreons

Accusing people of being too flirty with me yields surprisingly fun results (thanks Kali!)

I'll fill in more details later.

On this episode I call places on Memorial Day for a moment of silence and see how long I can get them to hold it. It's pretty funny if you're into that sort of thing. More happened, but I can't remember what.

More to follow! I am putting conditioner in my hair. I will fill it in after.

Make up show later this week

On this episode, 1/3 of the way to 1,000, I try the following premises:

• Making reservations at restaurants for 40 people, but don't worry we'll bring our own food to make it easier for them to accommodate us.
• Also, we're all blind.
• Seeing if restaurants will accommodate my iron lung bubble.
• Asking why someone else's clothes and suitcase are in my hotel room, and why my room key isn't working to the point where i had to jimmy open the door.

Thanks to

• @bjmoulton and @kali and @iregrethumping for the premise ideas
• @parkman for the youtube suggestion
• @myself for the show title
• all Patreons

On this episode I try the following premises:

• calling hotels to tell them I’m building a toll booth on their property (thanks @kali)
• asking forgiveness, in advance instead of permission
• calling hotels to get the parking lot cleared immediately, no questions allowed
• calling hotels as a blind driver, to get help leading my car into their parking lot
• calling places to say I walked out without my prosthetic leg until I realized it a half mile away and now I’m stuck and unable to walk
• calling places to say I lost my hearing aid and then repeating “WHAT” (thanks @iregretjumping)

Thanks to

• @ItsTifff for joining as a patreon!
• @kali for the show title
• all Patreons

On this meh episode I try the following premises:

• Asking front desks to not bother us while we hot box in the elevator for 4/20 day.
• Calling the front desk to let them know you've been trying to reach them and haven't been able to get through.
• Asking hotels if they remember what the premise of the call was?
• Calling hotels to interview them from Hot Boxxin' the Youtube channel
• Interviewing famous celebrities like Jonathan Busey, second cousin of Jake Busey, while hot boxing in the elevator.
• Leaving messages for my wife at the front desk, because the judge won't let me reach out directly.
• Asking for refunds for the whole package of flushable wipes that are now stuck in their toilet.
• Letting them know I listed their hotel as a home office deduction on my tax return.
• Accusing people of being perverts for petting my cat.
• And more!

Thanks to

• @andyanderson for the faux youtube show drop!
• whomever invented hot boxing for the show title
• all Patreons

On this episode I try the following premises:

• asking hotels what the fluid viscosity in the room is
• using hotel fluids to fill up my RV tanks.
• asking hotels when we are going to take off, because we've been sitting on the tarmac for 45 minutes already.
• asking more hotels what they are planning to do about all the little perverts in the tree
• asking hotels to landing the artimus 3 spacecraft in their parking lot.

Special callouts:

• I got 3 separate "I've never gotten that question before", so it's a 3-star episode, the pinnacle of milkbox shows.
• One call about driving my submarine into the landlocked Denver area (before switching the concept midcall to a spacecraft) was entirely unbelievable, and yet somehow still worked.

Thanks to

• @iregretjumping for the show title
• @Parkman and @Ayutux for the numbers
• everyone who sent in ideas
• all Patreons

my internet has explosive diarrhea

Possible makeup on Tuesday 3/31, though realistically more likely will have to make it up next week.