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On this episode I try the following premises:

  • Call hotels as a concerned citizen to say that I just saw a homeless person stealth camping outside their building; and you guess that they are probably really hungry and you think it would be nice if the hotels would send Macdonalds his way or give him a romantic room for free. And then continually drop hints that I was in fact the homeless guy in question.
  • Calling nursing homes to find out if I can meet with wealthy residents with dementia to pretend like I'm their grandson (but not All-zheimers, only Some-zheimers, or Partial-zheimers).
  • Then calling nursing homes to see how open minded they are about my grandma's interests. Credit to @kali for the hilarious opening hook: "Is this nursing home kink friendly?"
  • Calling funeral homes from Rent-a-Coffin / CasketRabbit) to pick up some used caskets and make sure they have them cleaned and ready. (Thanks @kali again for this ridiculously funny premise)
  • Finished the show calling another youtube live stream debater to promote https://minors.vagibond.com for minors struggling with gender identity (thanks @parkman for the tip) but they weren't having it.
  • And more!

Relevant Milkbox Song of the Week:
"Just tell them your their grandson"
https://suno.com/s/J4G3xfiDP8HYbBAc

Thanks to

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We visit the local place of worship and learn that indoctrination can make you actually kill a helpless kitten. After that we cook up some holy butter.

Happy birthday airhead!

Special thanks to "frank" who gave us our very first voicemail.

📞Call the help machine📞 - 720-446-9626

▶️Watch me on YouTube▶️ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChCDAOpS0NLpxTvT4JiQm3A

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MERCH - https://the-help-machine.printful.me

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We do a Sunday night show! Tradio, hotel calls, and more!

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Around the world, around the world
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I had a close relative pass away today.

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For the first half of this show I was possessed by bob. luckily I eventually broke through. check out the chat replay for full context.

▶️Watch me on youtube▶️
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChCDAOpS0NLpxTvT4JiQm3A

Show Merch - https://the-help-machine.printful.me

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