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all proceeds go directly to the impoverished Chinese government

Just a normal episode where nothing weird happens. Yup.

📞Call the help machine📞 - 720-446-9626

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MERCH - https://the-help-machine.printful.me

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This week we help people learn fiscal responsibility and we even get a visit from Peter Parker. he really needs his money now.

                ********SPONSORED BY JG WENTWORTH*********         

Need cash now? If you have a structured settlement or annuity, J.G. Wentworth can help. Get a lump sum of cash today by selling your future payments. Call 877-CASH-NOW or visit jgw.com to learn more and get a free quote.

📞Call the help machine📞 - 720-446-9626

▶️Watch me on YouTube▶️ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChCDAOpS0NLpxTvT4JiQm3A

💪Support The Show AND get merch💪
MERCH - https://the-help-machine.printful.me

Need cash now? If you have a structured settlement or annuity, J.G. Wentworth can help. Get a lump sum of cash today by selling your future payments. Call 877-CASH-NOW or visit jgw.com to learn more and get a free quote.

Need cash now? If you have a structured settlement or annuity, J.G. Wentworth can help. Get a lump sum of cash today by selling your future payments. Call 877-CASH-NOW or visit jgw.com to learn more and get a free quote.

Need cash now? If you have a structured settlement or annuity, J.G. Wentworth can help. Get a lump sum of cash today by selling your future payments. Call 877-CASH-NOW or visit jgw.com to learn more and get a free quote.

Need cash now? If you have a structured settlement or annuity, J.G. Wentworth can help. Get a lump sum of cash today by selling your future payments. Call 877-CASH-NOW or visit jgw.com to learn more and get a free quote.

Need cash now? If you have a structured settlement or annuity, J.G. Wentworth can help. Get a lump sum of cash today by selling your future payments. Call 877-CASH-NOW or visit jgw.com to learn more and get a free quote.

Need cash now? If you have a structured settlement or annuity, J.G. Wentworth can help. Get a lump sum of cash today by selling your future payments. Call 877-CASH-NOW or visit jgw.com to learn more and get a free quote.

Need cash now? If you have a structured settlement or annuity, J.G. Wentworth can help. Get a lump sum of cash today by selling your future payments. Call 877-CASH-NOW or visit jgw.com to learn more and get a free quote.

We visit the local place of worship and learn that indoctrination can make you actually kill a helpless kitten. After that we cook up some holy butter.

Happy birthday airhead!

Special thanks to "frank" who gave us our very first voicemail.

📞Call the help machine📞 - 720-446-9626

▶️Watch me on YouTube▶️ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChCDAOpS0NLpxTvT4JiQm3A

💪Support The Show AND get merch💪
MERCH - https://the-help-machine.printful.me

For the first half of this show I was possessed by bob. luckily I eventually broke through. check out the chat replay for full context.

▶️Watch me on youtube▶️
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChCDAOpS0NLpxTvT4JiQm3A

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Call in and leave a voicemail to be featured on the show! whatever your struggling with you can ask for help from the help machine. I may feature some funny calls if you think you can amuse me.

Help machine number - 720-446-9626

Warning the greeting sounds terrible

                                                                M

This week we take a trip to the grocery store and Cathy Mitchell cooks up some eggsters and extra toppings in only 20 cheese minutes.
sponsored by weeber cooks…..go wildcats

▶️Watch me on youtube▶️ - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChCDAOpS0NLpxTvT4JiQm3A

🎁 Help Machine Ranch Road Merch 🎁 - https://the-help-machine.printful.me

Don't Listen to this episode.

This week we help educate callers on how to protect themselves and others from various scams. Wilford Brimley is also a fucking liar!