America just doesn't have the engineering required to endure the German feces. Poor Johann, our confused German tourist, has a heck of night trying to figure out why the toilet will not spray him clean, and learning what to do instead. A veritable romp, including a Diskotek, Poopy Towels, and an angry front desk attendant.

(messages) are messages

[call descriptions]

*worth hearing

calls that (flop) we tried

Calls Start: 00:16:10

Dumpster Fucker (flop) 00:19:40 to 00:20:10

Dumpster Fucker pt 2 00:21:03 to 00:22:56

Obnoxious Band Tryout 00:27:00 to 00:29:35

Obnoxious Band Tryout pt 2 (message) 00:31:30 to 00:32:45

Annoyed Musician (message) 00:34:10 to 00:35:10

Craigslist Massage (message) 00:37:11 to 38:07 [Forgot to call back]

German Tourist Interference (flop) 00:42:10 to 00:43:45

*German Tourist Toilet Tutorial 00:44:15 to 00:49:19

*German Tourist Toilet Tutorial pt 2 00:51:29 to 00:58:33

German Tourist Toilet Tutorial pt 3 01:01:54 to 01:03:20

David Heartcross: Paranormal Investigator 01:05:17 to 01:09:11

*German Tourist Toilet Tutorial pt 4 01:10:42 to 01:19:28

German Tourist Hotel Party 01:26:55 to 01:28:00

*German Tourist Hotel Party pt 2 / Toilet Tutorial pt 4 01:29:00 to 01:32:54

German Tourist Toilet Tutorial pt 5 (message) 01:34:24 to 01:35:33

Lost German Tourist 01:36:30 to 01:39:07 [Angry front desk]

*German Tourist Toilet Tutorial pt 6 01:40:07 to 01:47:08 [Front desk breaks toilet]

*German Tourist Toilet Tutorial pt 6 01:50:01 to 02:02:44 [Front desk relishes Johann's pain] [Oh God Bill] [98.9FM "The Weenus"]